


Find your Truth

by ThunderShock



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Little bit of angst, Swearing, Valentines Day Fic, cuz that's just how i talk, i blame discord and my gay ass brain for this, idiots to lovers, like a dirty dirty sailor, okay more angst than expected, soran rights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:33:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22728457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderShock/pseuds/ThunderShock
Summary: Soran valentines day fic that hit me like a ton of bricks at 11 at night and had to write
Relationships: Lindsey Horan/Emily Sonnett, Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 12
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank my spine for always having my back, my heart for keeping me pumped up, my joints for always having a popping playlist, my brain for being hella gay, and my discord peeps for supplying my brain with soran rights, love ya crackheads
> 
> I don't know what this is

“Get out”

“Lindsey,” Russell pleaded “baby, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Not,“ Lindsey’s words faltered for a moment at the sheer audacity that her very soon to be ex had. “Not what it looks like? So, you’re telling me that I didn’t just come home to find you were just fucking another girl in my bed, in my apartment?” There was a cool fury to Lindsey’s words.

She could recall times she had been angry, anytime someone cut her off in traffic, when A-rod came after Sonny, when someone wakes her up before sunrise, but she had never felt this level of cold anger in her veins.

“Well when you put it like that it sounds bad.” Russell laughed awkwardly avoiding her gaze as he spoke.

"Get. Out." Lindsey was fuming at this point, the cold fury melting to an inferno that was about to erupt.

"Baby, come on we can talk this out like we always do."

"No."

"Baby," He started but Lindsey just help up a hand, stopping his words in their tracks.

"I am done with your shit. I've had enough of the on again, off again, the lying, and the cheating. Get your things and get out, now" 

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, talking to me about lying and cheating." Lindsey stared at him for a moment dumbfounded. 

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You think I can't see it, the way you and your little dyke friend look at each other?" Lindsey scowled for a moment at the use of the slur out of his mouth, but then tried to comprehend what he was talking about.

"Tobin?" Lindsey felt ready to laugh at even the thought of sleeping with the older woman. Who felt like a big sister to her, who was very happy in a committed relationship. 

"No, the little hyperactive one."

"Kelley? You thought I was cheating on you with Kelley O'Hara?" She was sure if she should be offended or proud of that accusation, that she got Kelly O'Hara to cheat on her longtime girlfriend with her. 

"No! The blonde that plays with you, that's always here. God why can I never remember her name? She's around here enough that she might as well be living here too."

"Sonnett?" Now Lindsey was confused.

"Yeah! That one!"

"Sonnett's not gay Russell." Russell just started at her with one of his eyebrows raised.

"No, Sonnett's not gay!" Lindsey wasn't sure who she was trying to convince.

"You have to be kidding. She looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and the real kicker is you do it right back." 

"I-" Russell laughed coldly at her stunned reaction.

“I’m not sure who you’re actually stringing along now, me or Sonnett.”

"I need to go. You have one hour, get your shit and get the hell out of my life, leave your key on the counter." There were tears forming in her eyes, she wasn't sure if it was out of rage or sadness as she turned to leave her apartment.

Lindsey doesn't remember the drive to Tobin's place, she doesn’t remember walking up four flights of stairs, or even knocking on her door. All she can think about is Sonnett and what Russell said. 

"Hey, Lin-" Christen's smile faded the moment she saw the tear streaks on her teammates’ face. 

"Oh, hey Chris." Lindsey voice was as small and weak as she felt. She wasn't surprised at the forwards presence at Tobin's place anymore. She had been there from the start of their relationship. 

"Babe, who is it?" She heard Tobin call out from further inside the apartment. Christen moved a side, allowing Lindsey to move inside.

"Babe?" Tobin questioned as she rounded the corner of her kitchen, still drying her hands. Lindsey almost laughed at the site of one of her best friend’s. She was wearing a ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron over one of Christen’s Stanford t-shirts.

"Hey Tobes, nice outfit." Lindsey said with the closest thing she could get to a smile right now.

"Hey, Linds. What's up?" Tobin just shrugged bashfully at her comment about her outfit, a hint of a blush tinted her cheeks.

“I,” Lindsey didn’t know how to start. She was scared, for the first time in years she had no one to go home to. Russell was never the greatest, the fought, and argued sometimes were worse than others, but that’s how relationships went. Right?

“Chris, why don’t you go take care of dinner.” Tobin said as she untied her apron, handing it to her girlfriend as she looked at Lindsey with concerned eyes as tears started to form.

“Don’t burn it!” Tobin called after Christen as she entered the kitchen. “Again.” She added softly under her breath. 

“What was that?” Christen called accusingly back at Tobin.

“Nothing!” 

“That’s what I thought.” Tobin looked at the doorway where she had last seen Christen with a small smile. Lindsey chuckled at the interaction of the older couple, but it hurt her heart that she wouldn’t have that anymore. 

“Russell cheated on me.” Tobin’s head snapped towards the younger girl at the almost inaudible words.

“What.” The flat harsh tone in Tobin’s voice was one she had only heard once, when a guy wouldn’t leave Mal alone at a bar one night and almost ended with either the cops or at the hospital, or both. 

“He’s done for.” Tobin made to move past Lindsey, but she grabbed her fellow midfielders arm stopping her in her tracks. 

“Tobin, don’t.” The fire in Tobin’s eyes cooled at the sad and pleading tone in her teammate’s voice. 

“You sure? Not even a broken nose?” Lindsey shook her head. “Black eye? What if I just yelled a lot?” 

Lindsey cracked a smile at her friends’ words, Tobin had a way with words that always made people feel better. It was one of the reason’s they had grown so close when they played at PSG. Tobin knew what the coaches there did to her mental health and was there to help her through it. She was the reason she chose to come to Portland when she rejoined the NWSL. 

Her smile faded before speaking again, “He said it was my fault.” Tobin scowled at her words. 

“He said it was because I was,” Lindsey’s words faded, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud. 

“Hey!” The sharpness in Tobin’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. “His choices are not your fault, no matter his reasoning. If he can’t see how great you are then he wasn’t worth it to begin with. You aren’t The Great Horan for nothing.” Lindsey laughed at the use of the nickname that she hated, but secretly loved. 

“Thanks Toby.” The older midfielder glared at her for a moment at the use of her own terrible nickname but pulled the taller woman in for a tight hug. The hug didn’t last long as the smoke alarm went off a few moments later and Christen came running out of the kitchen holding a frying pan that was billowing smoke and had what looked like the burnt remains of chicken in it. 

“Chris!” Tobin exclaimed as she took the pan from the forward and ran back into the kitchen to put the lid back on it to contain the smoke. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Christen explained as she raced to open all the windows in the apartment. “I look away for ten seconds and BAM it’s on fire.” It took them a few more minuets and several fans to get the smoke alarm to stop and a call to the building manager to not have the fire department come. 

“So,” Tobin said with a sigh “take out anyone?” 

Twenty minuets later they were curled up on their couch eating cheap Chinese food while watching a Women’s Arsenal match that Tobin had recorded earlier in the week. Christen half asleep had her feet sprawled over Tobin’s lap leaning on the arm of the couch. Lindsey had her head resting on Tobin’s shoulder having discarded her half eaten take out container on the coffee table. 

“He said I was in love with Sonnett not him.” Lindsey mumbled softly into Tobin’s shoulder during a slow moment during the match. She could feel Tobin try and fail not to tense at her words. 

“It still doesn’t make it right, what he did.” Tobin said as she absent mindedly rubbed a sleeping Christen’s legs

“Sonnett’s not even gay.” Lindsey mumbled as she snuggled further into the older woman’s shoulder. She felt Tobin completely freeze, fork halfway to her mouth. She lifted her head to stare at the brunette who refused to meet her eyes. 

“What.” Lindsey deadpanned; Tobin still refused to meet her eyes. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“Tobin,” The midfielder looked like she wanted to run, but was trapped by her sleeping girlfriend’s legs. “Tobin look at me.” Trapped she finally met the younger woman’s eyes. The admission was blatant on her face. 

“What!” Lindsey exclaimed loudly and a sleeping Christen shuffled and Tobin glared at her. 

“How am I literally the last person to find this out! I’m her best friend.” Lindsey said in a loud whisper, trying to not bother Christen again, and Tobin looked at her with sad eyes, then back at Christen’s sleeping form.

“The heart sometimes hides what it wants so well we forget what it even was to begin with.” There was a pain in her voice that Lindsey hadn’t heard before as Tobin watched Christen sleep peacefully. She knew the history between them was rocky and it took a while for them to get together, but the pain in her voice was deeper than Lindsey had ever expected out of the naturally chill woman. 

“You just have to find your truth.” Tobin looked at her with such open honesty in here eyes as she spoke. 

“She’s mine.” Tobin reached out to brush a piece of hair that had fallen on to Christen’s sleeping face, “What’s yours?” They finished watching the match in silence, neither woman actually paying attention to it both lost in thought.

“You’re free to stay here for the night if you want, the guest room is all set up if you want it.” Tobin said as she shut off the TV. 

Lindsey let out a deep sigh before saying, “No, I need to go back to my apartment and think.” 

“The offer is always open if you ever need it.” 

“Thanks Tobin.” 

“Any time kiddo.” Tobin said as she gave her teammate a playful shove, which Lindsey returned, disturbing a sleeping Christen in the process. 

“Well I better get out of your hair; you’ve got to deal with that now.” Lindsey said gesturing to Christen’s sleeping form as she unfolded herself from Tobin’s couch. 

“Call or come over any time if you need to talk. I know how difficult it can be, deciding what you want.” 

“This Buddhism stuff is really rubbing off on you,” Lindsey paused for a moment and smirked as she glanced at Christen “or is it just rubbing you off?” Tobin threw a pillow at her. 

“Now I’m kicking you out.” Tobin gently removes herself from under Christen’s legs to chase after her friend. 

“You start to question your sexuality, and this is what I get, I can’t wait till you actually figure it out.” Tobin grumbles to herself as she starts pushing Lindsey towards the door. 

“Okay, okay geeze, I’m going.” Lindsey says as they reach the door, she opens it and pauses, “Thanks again Tobes, I really needed this.” 

“Hey, give me your phone real quick.” Lindsey gives her an odd look but hands it over anyways. Tobin quickly types in her password and taps the screen a few times before handing it back. 

“A, how do you know my password, and B, what did you do?” 

“I know you well enough to guess your password, your Portland and National team numbers, and I blocked his number. Good night.” Tobin unceremoniously shoves her out of her apartment when she’s done talking. 

Lindsey debates unblocking Russell’s number on her drive back to her apartment but decides against it as she walks up to her apartment. She unlocks her door and it’s eerily quiet, there’s not forgotten football match playing on the TV, Russell’s not talking to one of his friends on the phone, and for what seems to be the millionth time that night she cries. She collapses into a heap right in front of her door and sobs, she cries for what feels like hours when there’s a knock at her door. 

“Lindsey?” The unmistakable voice is soft, but it reverberates though her skull, and Lindsey sits up with her back against the door hoping that she will go away. 

“Lindsey are you there? You missed game night, I tried calling.” Lindsey pulls out her phone and there are five missed calls from Sonnett and three from a blocked number that she assumes is Russell. She leans her head back against the door, too tired to deal with this right now. 

“Lindsey, I know you’re there, I just heard something hit the door. Unless you’re not Lindsey and are some home invader then I’m calling the cops.” 

“Fuck.” Lindsey swears softly before standing up and slowly opening the door to find Sonnett standing there in some weird intimidation of a karate move. 

“Oh, good it is you, I thought I was going to have to fight off some ninja’s that broke into your apartment and kidnapped you.” Lindsey tried to smile at her….. something’s antics, but it came out more like a grimace. 

“Hey,” Sonnett said softly when she noticed the attempted smile and her red puffy eyes. “What happened?” 

“Russell and I,” Lindsey didn’t get to finish her sentence because Sonnett bear hugged her, knocking the air from her lungs. She wasn’t sure if it was from the force or the person. 

“I’m so sorry Linds, I know how much you cared for him, but if he can’t see what an amazing and caring person you are, he didn’t deserve you anyways.” The air in Lindsey’s lungs was knocked out of her again, but this time there was no bear hug to do it, just Sonnett, and it scared her. 

“I,” Lindsey started as she slowly and reluctantly pulled away, “I can’t right now Son, I need some time alone.” The pleading and confused look on Sonnett’s face was almost enough to pull the defender back in. The smaller blonde nodded and took a small step back, releasing Lindsey from the hug and Lindsey could still feel the  
impression of where her arms used to be on her skin like it had been burned in. 

“Call me if you need anything, if not I guess I’ll see you at practice.” The defender wouldn’t meet here eyes and it hurt in a way Lindsey couldn’t describe. 

“Okay, will do.” Sonnett’s eyes flicked back to hers for a moment before heading towards the stairs and Lindsey could have sworn that the wood of the door bent beneath her hands. It wasn’t fair that she had to push Sonnett away, she knew that, but it was even less fair to possibly do something that they would regret later.  
Lindsey needed to sort out her feeling’s first. 

She walked back to her bedroom and looked at the messed up sheets, a blaring reminder that she wasn’t enough for him. This wasn’t something she was ready to deal with yet so she grabbed one of her extra blankets from her closet that she had when it got too cold in winter and wrapped the warm blanket around herself and flopped onto her couch. It didn’t take long for her to pass out from exhaustion. 

She spent the rest of her weekend eating take out and watching Netflix. She wasn’t watching anything so much as it was background noise, so her thoughts didn’t overwhelm her. She thought and she thought, and she cried, and she thought, and then there was a knock on her door. Lindsey just stared at the door, just thinking about the effort it would take to get up and see who it was, was exhausting. 

“Lindsey?” The person called out; it wasn’t the voice she was expecting. Curiosity beat back the sadness for now and she made her way towards the door, letting her blanket cocoon drape off the couch.

“Christen?” Lindsey questioned as she opened the door to find the forward standing there.

“What are you doing here?” Christen slowly looked her over then nodded to herself.

“Yup, I was right.”

“About?” Lindsey inquired further and Christen gestured to all of Linsey. 

“You may be thinking about things, but you’re not actually getting anywhere. You’re just thinking the same thoughts over and over again but in different forms, and it’s not helping. Tobin has her way of doing things, and it works for her, but everyone is different, so I’m here to help.” 

“Uh, okay?’ Lindsey moved aside and let the small forward into her apartment. 

“Er, sorry about the mess,” she said as she actually looked at the state of her apartment for the first time “I’ve been, well, kinda a mess.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Christen says as she looks around her apartment, taking everything in. 

“Have you been sleeping on the couch?” Christen asks as she looks at the taller blondes slightly hunched over and crooked posture, and at the mini nest she made on the couch.

Lindsey blushes lightly and looks away from the forwards intense gaze, “Yeah.” she says softly. 

“Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go take a nice long hot show, I’m going to go get rid of everything that even remotely looks like his, and then we’re going to go to that awesome new bakery off of Hall and get amazing coffee and pastries and talk. Kay?”

“Wow, opposites do attract. Tobin’s speech was the exact opposite of that.” Lindsey marveled at the woman in front of her, who did some strange form of a wink at her and headed into her bedroom.

“Feeling better?” Christen asked as she placed two mouth watering French pastries on the table and handed Lindsey a coffee before sitting down. 

“Much.” She responded with after taking a long sip of the hot coffee. 

“Yeah, Tobin’s method of thinking and thinking and then some more thinking works for some people, but sometimes you just need someone to give you a little helping hand to get you out of a slump.” 

“You seem like you’ve done this before.” Lindsey questioned. 

“I have, but sometimes you need to be your own helping hand. It’s hard sometimes, and I’ve found that the best way is to talk it out. Some people do it with a therapist, like I did for a while, so do it with a friend. Sometimes you just need an ear and an open mind.” 

“So, what’s on your mind.” 

Lindsey explained what happened between her and Russell, with all the cheating and the lying that had happened. The on again, off again, and how it strained everything between them. 

“The worst part was when he claimed this was all my fault, because of my ‘dyke’ friend.” Lindsey scowled at even the thought of the slur. “The funny part was, I didn’t even know who he was talking about at first, I thought he was talking about Tobin, then Kelley, then I finally figured out that he was talking about Sonnett.” Lindsey let out a huff of air as she paused. 

“And I, uh, I didn’t even realize that Sonnett, was uh, gay, until the other night when I was talking with Tobin.” Lindsey could feel her neck and ears start to get hot as she spoke. 

“And what about it?” Christen asked. 

“Wha-, What do you mean?” Lindsey stuttered. 

“How does it make you feel? Does it matter?” 

“Of course, it doesn’t matter she’s my best friend!” Lindsey exclaimed a little too loudly, turning a few heads towards her, and she took a deep breath and slowly released it trying to calm her fast beating heart. 

“You didn’t answer my other question, how does it make you feel? How does she make you feel?” Christen pressed.

"I-, I don't know."

"Yes, you do Lindsey, you just have to think about it for a second. What's it like to hug her?"

Lindsey thought back to the last time she hugged Sonnett, the odd but warm and comforting feeling that settled deep in her chest, and the cold ache that replaced it when asked her to leave.

"To watch her smile at a bad joke you made that no one should laugh at? "

Sonnett and laughter are synonyms to her. Where ever Sonnett goes laughter follows, but to make her laugh even at the stupidest joke was one of her favorite things, it was like a drug she never wanted to stop.

"What's it like to look at her when she doesn't notice?"

To watch her during her pregame ritual was something else, the prankster turned serious as she thought through the game. The change in intensity was well intense, Sonnett never does anything half assed.

"To watch her in the morning when she's still half asleep? What's it like to play by her side?"

Those rare occurrences when they are roommates during camps or away games are a hidden gem, groggy Sonnett with her hair up in a messy bun that barely counts as a bun because half her hair isn't even in it. The half lidded smile she gives Lindsey when she brings back coffee.

"What's it like when she gives you that perfect pass and you score a goal from it?"

The joy of scoring is one of her favorite feelings, but having it come from Sonnett just intensifies that feeling. She thought it came from scoring with her best friend, but maybe there was more to it, maybe she was in love with that dorky blonde defender that could always bring a smile to her face.

Christen smiled as she watched the blonde's face change as she thought. From an intense focused look to a soft smile to shock and surprise.

"So, Lindsey, is my job here done?"

"If you weren't with Tobin and I didn't just figure out I'm in love with Sonnett, I would kiss you." Lindsey said as she started to rise from her chair but paused half way. "I'm in love with Sonnett." She said flabbergasted by her own words.

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"I have no idea."

"Telling her might be a good start." Christen leaned back in her chair and sipped on her now cool coffee.

"Yeah but I want it to be memorable, I don't want to just run up to her apartment and yell 'I'm in love with you!'"

"That would definitely work, but if you want to make it special and unique, Valentine's day is next week." Christen smirked from behind her coffee cup.


	2. How to ask the love of your life out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day time! You know the actual whole point of this fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're switching this up a bit, Sonnett POV time baby!

Game night was one of Sonnett’s favorite days of the week, second only to Taco Tuesday. All of her close friends got together to play various board games and drink, lots of drinking. It wasn’t game night if someone didn’t make a fool of themselves while drunk and it was her turn to host tonight, one of her last ones before she officially moves to Orlando to join the Pride. 

Tobin and Christen had already called saying that they weren’t going to come tonight, something about date night and cooking. Ad and her new wife also said something similar, and with Ellie and Catlin playing in various other leagues it was going to be a much smaller group than normal. It was just going to be Sonnett, Lindsey, Kling and her girlfriend, Sinclair, and a few of their friends that they had made outside of soccer. 

She was almost ready for people to start arriving, she already had plenty of snacks and alcohol already set up and was in the process of trying to choose the games for the night. She was trying to choose between the dirty version of Pictionary and Cards Against Humanity. She finally settled on Pictionary, she was glad Tobin wasn’t going to be here because that woman and an unsettling ability to draw very, realistically. Sonnett shook her head in an attempt to rid her mind of some of the very anatomically correct things Tobin has drawn before. 

It was twenty minutes till people were supposed to start arriving and she was starting to get worried. Lindsey was always early to help her set up, even if she didn’t need it on days like today. She tried calling her, but her phone just rang and rang until she got Lindsey’s voice mail.

“Hi, you’ve reached the voice mail of Lindsey Horan, welcome to the twenty first century try texting me, if this is Sonnett give me my hoodie back!” Sonnett chucked at the voice mail as she looked down at the hoodie in question. She’d ‘stolen’ it during one of their camps last year, complaining she didn’t realize it was going to be that cold and Lindsey’s hoodies were always warmer than her own. Lindsey had just roller her eyes and tossed her one telling her to give it back after camp was over, well, that didn’t happen. 

“Hey Linds, just checking in making sure you’re still coming tonight. Shoot me a text or give me a call when you can. K, lo-,” Sonnett barely stopped herself from saying the one thing that had been on the tip of her tongue for years, “Yeah bye.” She finished and quickly hung up. 

She spent the next few minuets scrolling through tick tock trying to find a new dance that she could teach, Rose and Kelley at their next camp, trying not to get anxious at not having received any thing back from Lindsey yet. She sipped at her beer, trying to give her hands something to do other than check her notifications every ten seconds. Kling and her girlfriend were the first to arrive. 

“Hey Son!” Meghan yelled when Sonnett opened the door. “Where’s Linds?” She asked as she and her girlfriend made their way to Sonnett’s refrigerator to chill the beer they brought and grab one for themselves. 

“She’s not here yet.” Sonnett said trying not to let her anxiety show but failing. 

“I’m sure she’s just running late, she’ll be here.” Sonnett gave a weak smile at Kling’s girlfriends reassurance. 

“So, how’s packing going.” Kling asked trying to make small talk to pass the time while everyone slowly filtered in and to keep Sonnett’s mind off Lindsey’s absence.

Sinclair was the last person to arrive and Sonnett’s nerves were going haywire, she tried calling Lindsey again but still only got voice mail and she didn’t bother leaving a message this time. She didn’t trust her nerves to hold her tongue.

“Relax Son,” Sinc said as she passed Sonnett another beer, “it’s her loss if she doesn’t make it. Kling found the vodka, and you know what that means.” The Canadian had a mischievous smirk on her face and Sonnett groaned. Kling and vodka were never a good mix. The last time Kling got even a taste of Vodka they got kicked out of two bars because the scrappy defender had gotten into a fight at both over a game a pool. Vodka brought out Kling’s competitive side something fierce. 

They managed to get though the night without any major fights, it turns out Kling’s girlfriend is a good distractor for the older defender. Every time the brunette started to debate the rules, her girlfriend would get her attention and Kling would just smile and get lost in her face and forget what she was so mad about. Sonnett is going to have to remind herself to get her a good Christmas present. 

Sonnett’s nerves manages to calm a bit as they got into the game and the alcohol started to kick in, she only had the two beers, but it was enough to mellow her. She still found herself turning to say something to Lindsey a few times throughout the night. Once everyone had left, she decided to call Lindsey again, it was late enough that she should be home, but again she had no luck reaching the blonde midfielder. Now she was getting worried, Lindsey had never been out of contact this long, even when she broke her phone, she had Tobin text her what happened.

She tried to convince herself that everything was fine, and she was just overreacting but there was something in her gut that was telling her to go to Lindsey’s place. She paced around her kitchen for another twenty minuets before giving in and grabbing her keys. Her car automatically started Spotify up when she started her car and she’d forgotten Sinc had used her phone to play music at game night and ‘Rumor’ from her October playlist started playing through her speakers. 

“Shut up.” She grumbled to her car as she completely turned off her stereo system and drove in silence. 

Sonnett trudged up the stairs her anxiety growing with every step. When she finally got to Lindsey’s floor the hallway leading to the midfielders apartment seem to stretch on forever and ever, but Sonnett was somehow able to put one foot in front of the other until she was standing right in front of her door. She raised her fist to knock the froze and her anxiety spiked, and her thoughts started to berate her. 

“Emily dearie, just knock for Pete’s sake.” The voice of Lindsey’s sweet old neighbor, Ms. Miller, cut through her thoughts like a warm knife through butter, and she nodded and gave the old lady an apologetic smile before she entered her own apartment. Taking a deep breath, she took the plunge and knocked. 

“Lindsey?” She called though the door, still unsure if her best friend was even there. 

“Lindsey are you there? You missed game night, I tried calling.” She tried to keep the nervous fear out of her voice. There was a long pause and Sonnett started to turn to walk back to her car, chastising herself for coming over for no reason, then there was a soft thump from inside the apartment. 

“Lindsey, I know you’re there, I just heard something hit the door. Unless you’re not Lindsey and are some home invader then I’m calling the cops.” She knew humor was her defense mechanism but right now she wasn’t actually sure if it was Lindsey behind the door. She heard the locks on the door click and took up a pose that she had seen Jackie Chan do in a movie somewhere, and if it worked for Jackie Chan it could work for her. When the door opened revealing the blonde midfielder, she breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Oh, good it is you, I thought I was going to have to fight off some ninja’s that broke into your apartment and kidnapped you.” She quickly explained trying to justify the odd pose she had just been in without trying to sound too crazy. When she actually looked at her best friend, she could see her red puffy eyes and the tear marks down her face that made the defenders heart break. 

“Hey,” She said softly unsure her voice would even work at all, “What happened?” 

“Russell and I,” The taller blonde’s voice was rough from crying and Sonnett put the pieces together before she even finished her sentence. She couldn’t take it anymore, she couldn’t stand to see her like this, so she wrapped her friend in a crushing hug. She didn’t trust herself right now to do anything more than hug the midfielder without risking the friendship that she so desperately needed. 

“I’m so sorry Linds, I know how much you cared for him, but if he can’t see what an amazing and caring person you are, he didn’t deserve you anyways.” She failed to keep the emotion out of her voice as she spoke, and she felt Lindsey tense under her hug and her heart tightened painfully. 

“I,” Lindsey said as she started to pull away from the defender, “I can’t right now Son, I need some time alone.” Sonnett’s heart started to fracture at the blonde’s words, there were too many emotions running around in her head right now, so she just took a step back, out of Lindsey’s reach and back into the hallway. 

“Call me if you need anything, if not I guess I’ll see you at training.” She somehow managed to keep her voice even as she spoke, not meeting her best friends’ eyes. 

“Okay, will do.” It felt like an olive branch, and she glanced back and the midfielder as she turned back towards the stairs. She saw so many emotions in her eyes, some she couldn’t describe, but mainly she saw pain and it killed her to not being able to help fix it. 

She let Lindsey have her privacy, she knew how tough a rough break up could be. She had broken up with her high school sweetheart when they went to colleges across the country. It had hurt but she knew it was coming, she was prepared for the pain, Lindsey was not. Everyone grieved differently and Lindsey had asked for space, so that’s what she was giving her. 

Sonnett spent the weekend doing chores for what seems to be the first time in forever. She vacuumed and mopped. She felt like she had so much pent up energy, which wasn’t unusual for her, but this level was extreme. She did every chore she could think of, and when that was finished, she still had a lot of energy. She decided to go for a run afterwards to burn her extra energy, she ran ten miles before exhaustion set in and she had to call an uber to get back to her apartment. 

She was glad she still was able to train with the remaining Thorns players that remained in Portland in the off season. It was bittersweet with her trade going through and moving to Orlando soon.

She was one of the last to arrive at their offsite training field mid Monday morning. She noticed Lindsey was already warming up with Christen, which surprised the defender because the forward was usually trying to spend every moment with her girlfriend. Lindsey looked happier than when she last saw her, she was smiling but it didn't quite reach her eyes. The blonde midfielder caught her eye mid conversation and gave her a small smile and a half wave, which returned. 

Sonnett made her way to the locker room to get ready for training. She tossed her duffel bag on the bench and made her way to her locker, she smiled sadly at it. It had been her locker since she joined the Thorns all those years ago. So much had happened since then, but she was starting the next chapter of her career. 

Moving to Orlando was going to be tough, Portland had grown to be her home. She was glad to be closer to her family in Georgia, and Alex, Ali, and Ash, all had welcomed her with open arms. She had watched the pride games last season and saw how good the team could be. They had amazing players like Marta, Alana Kennedy, Alex. Ali, and Ash. She was so proud to be joining such an amazing group of people and players.

She opened her locker to grab her practice cleats and clothes and froze. There was a small envelope that was on top of her gear. She glanced around the almost empty locker room to see if anyone was watching or looking her way, but there wasn't anyone, just a few people milling about grabbing last minute items before heading out to the field. 

She gingerly picked up the white envelope and looked at it. It had her first name spelled out in big fancy letters on the front. She opened it and removed the plain white card from inside it. 

_Roses are red  
Violets are blue  
How come your the only one I want to get close to? _

Sonnett felt her face turn bright red, as she read the simple note. Someone had left her a poem. It was cheesy but also sweet none the less. But someone was leaving her cute poems? It couldn't have been for anyone else; it had her name right on the card and was in her locker. 

"Sonny!" She heard Tobin yell into the locker room. "You gonna join us anytime soon?"

"Yeah, just give me a sec!" Sonnett could hear the high pitch squeak in her voice and blushed even harder. 

"Son?" Tobin questioned and she could hear the older midfielder coming to investigate. "You good?"

"Yep! Yep, all good here." She hastily called back as she shoved the note back into the back of her locker and grabbed her training gear, accidentally slamming her locker door closed in the process. 

"Sonnett?" Tobin asked hesitantly as she entered the row of lockers that Sonnett was in. The defender quickly turned to face the midfielder, leaning on her locker with her elbow and her hand behind her head. 

"H-hey Tobin, Tobes, Tobster, what's up?" Sonnett tried to sound casual but knew she failed miserably. 

"Just checkin' in on you, we're about to start soon." Tobin eyed her with a puzzled expression on her face, she knew the defender could be out there sometimes, but this takes the cake.

"You good?" She asked again.

"Yup, all good." Sonnett gave her her signature thumbs up and closed mouth grin and the brunette just cocked an eyebrow at her odd behavior. 

"Okay then, I guess I'll see you out there then." Tobin said cautiously as she left the younger blonde, eyeing her one last time before heading back toward the pitch.  
Sonnett let out a long sigh of relief after she was sure the midfielder was gone. If it had been anyone else she was sure they would have pressed the issue. She quickly got changed and joined her soon to be former teammates out on the field.

Tobin kept giving her odd glances as they warmed up, which Christen picked up on but kept it to herself until practice was over. It felt like Lindsey was avoiding her or at least being a little skittish around her. She brushed it off as awkwardness from their last interaction.

The next practice there was another note. 

_Roses are red  
Violets are blue  
I don't know what I'm doing but I know I really like you _

This time she couldn’t keep her blush as well hidden.

"Whatcha got there Saucy Sonny? Must be good to get you this red." Kling pestered as approached her fellow defender. 

"Nothing Kling!" Sonnett tried to shut her locker door before the older defender could see the note card, but she wasn't fast enough and Kling managed to catch her locker door and snatch the note card out of it before she could stop her.

"Oooo, looks like Sonnett's got an admirer!" Kling called out loud enough for the entire locker room to hear. She was glad there weren't too many other players that were still in the locker room. 

"Kling, stop it!" Sonnett hissed and she eyed the other player who didn't even both to give Kling a second glance.

"Come on Sonnett, you're going to be gone before too long and this is our last time we're going to be able to tease you like this." Kling pleaded. 

"Kling give it." 

"Ugh, fine" The defender reluctantly gave up the now slightly bent card. 

"Do you at least know who's sending them?" 

"No." Sonnett admitted.

"Well it's got to be someone on the team or staff." Kling thought to herself for a moment before snapping her fingers at Sonnett. 

"It's got to be Stewart the janitor!" Sonnett scoffed and lightly shoved her friend at the outrageous idea. 

"I have no idea who it is, and I don't plan of finding out." Sonnett said as she stripped off her shirt and replaced it with one of her training kits. 

"Wow, really? I thought you'd be all over this, hunting them down."

"I'm leaving in like a month, nothing could come of it even if I did like them back." Sonnett said as she sat down on the bench to put her socks on then shove her shin guards into them. 

"Even if it was Lindsey?" Sonnett glared at her now former teammate. She'd drunkenly admitted she liked the blonde midfielder as more than a friend. 

"She's straight."

"She's been with the same guy for years, who knows if her tastes have changed." Sonnett chuckled and shook her head at her friend's suggestion and finished getting ready, there was no way.

"Even if she was, she wouldn't go for me." Sonnett said standing up. 

"Dude, you can get her to laugh at anything."

"That's cause I'm actually funny, unlike you." Kling gasped in mock offence. 

"Now I'm glad you're leaving; I can't wait to slide tackle your snarky ass on the field for real."

"Oh yeah? Bring it on footy."

"One time! It was one time! I let Tobin put her feet in my hair, one time." Kling yelled chasing her fellow defender out onto the field.

Tobin was the next person to see the effect of the cards on her.

_Roses are red  
These are cheesy  
Who ever said falling in love was easy _

"Son you're redder than that time you got sun burt at practice and couldn't play for a week."

"What's got you all flustered?" Tobin said casually as she sat down on the bench by Sonnett's locker. 

The defender sighed in defeat and just handed the older woman the card, still trying to fight the blush on her face. Tobin awed as she read the short poem. 

"That's adorable Sonny." Tobin said as she passed the small card back to the defender. "Any idea who's giving them to you?" 

"Nope."

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" The brunette pressed.

"Nothin'." 

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay." 

"I'm not sure where this is going but I'm not going to influence it anyway. I'm leaving in just over a month, so nothing serious can come of it anyways."

"Son." the softness in the midfielder's voice caught her off guard. 

"They just told you that they loved you." Sonnett gaped like a fish at the older woman's words.

"Valentine's day is in two days." Tobin said as she patted the back of the still stunned blonde and made her way onto the field. 

When Sonnett got back to her apartment after practice she did the only thing she could think of. 

"Kelley!" Sonnett practically yelled into her phone. 

"Geeze, Son what's with the yelling? Is someone being murdered? Are you being murdered?"

"Physically no."

"Alright then who's Ted Bundy-ing you mentally."

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"What are you getting old? Yes, that's what I said."

"How don't you know?"

"I have a secret admirer."

"Why didn't you lead with that?" Kelley screeched through the phone. 

"Geeze, now I'm the deaf one."

"Tell me everything! This is so exciting; my little Georgia peach is going to fall in love." Kelley squealed again and Sonnett had to move the phone away from her ear. Sonnett quickly explained what was happening, or not happening, with her secret admirer once Kelley calmed down.

"What does Lindsey think of all this?" Kelley asked excitedly after she was done. 

"She, uh, doesn't know." Sonnett said sheepishly. 

"What!"

"Kelley!"

"Right sorry, volume." Sonnett could hear her fellow defender take a deep breath on the other side of the phone. 

"What do you mean she doesn’t know?" Kelley's voice was at a much more reasonable volume this time. 

"We haven't been talking too much recently." Sonnett's voice was barely a whisper. 

"I'm sorry Son, any idea why?"

"She said she needed space after she broke up with Russell." Kelley groaned loudly.

"God, you are dense sometimes."

"Hey, what does that mean?" Sonnett said slightly offended at her friends words.

"You have, what, two days till Valentine's Day? I'm going to make a bet with you."

"God, I hate your bets, you always rig them, so you win." Sonnett wined. 

"And I'm going to win this one too. Now, I bet you I know exactly who this secret admirer is, and if you figure out who it is before training is over Valentine's Day or I get it wrong you win." Sonnett was now intrigued by Kelley's proposition.

"Tobin as the middleman?" Sonnett asked.

"No, _Christen_."

"Oh, damn." Kelley only used Christen as their moderator when she was serious about the bet. The older Georgia native knew that Tobin had a soft spot for the  
younger defender.

"What do I get if I win?" Sonnett asked, her curiosity peeked. 

"I'll name my first born after you, and if I win, I get to be best man at your wedding and your first kid's middle name."

"You're on Miss. Kelley." Sonnett said confidently. 

"We have ourselves a wager, may the best peach win."

"We all know mine's better." Sonnett said with a smirk.

"When you get put on the cover of a body issue let me know." Kelley said before hanging up the phone.

Sonnett got a text from Christen a few minutes later confirming that she was up to date on their latest bet. She made a call as soon as she received the text.

"Kling, you still interested in helping to unmask this secret admirer?" 

"Hell yeah!" The other defender cheered. "As long as I'm Scooby Doo in this duo."

"Oh, hell no, Bagel is Scooby. You can be Fred."

"Really Fred's the dumb one, can I be Velma she was smart and at least a little gay for Daphne." Kling complained. 

"Sure, as long as your girl is Daphne and not me." Sonnett clarified. 

"You are definitely not a Daphne, you're definitely a Shaggy, you've even got the dog for it." Sonnett couldn't argue with that logic.

"Okay we need to figure this out before Valentine's day though."

"Why?"

"I have a bet with Kelley that I need to win."

"You what!" Kling exclaimed. 

"What's with everyone yelling at me today?"

"Sorry Son, I'm out. I'm not getting in the middle of KO and another one of her bets. Good luck dude." Kling said before hanging up.

"Kling!" Sonnett yelled into her phone, but the other defender was already gone.

"Looks like it's just you and me buddy." She said looking down at Bagel who had trotted over when she heard her name.

Sonnett set her alarm to go off extra early the next morning so she had enough time to go get coffee and breakfast and finally be early to practice trying and catch whoever is putting the notes in her locker. She arrived just ask the morning staff was too, they were surprised to see her there, she was normally one of the last ones to arrive. She made her way to her locker and opened it, she let out a long groan at then card that was already sitting there. It meant that whoever was doing this was putting the cards in after practice was over.

_Roses are red  
Violet are blue  
I didn't know what loves was till I met you _

She blushed again as she read it, and then read it three more times. She was glad no one was around to see it this time. She placed the card back in her locker and made her way to go find Matt their security guy. 

"Hey, Matt!" She called out as she spotted him doing his morning sweep around the field. They had hired him a few years ago when some crazed fans started showing up randomly. 

"Hey, Sonnett? What are you doing here so early? The coaching staff isn't even here yet." He questioned. 

"I know, I need your help." Matt's face got serious quick.

"Why? What happened?" His normally kind voice turned hard. 

"Wow, no, nothing like that." Sonnett said quickly when she saw the shift in his demeanor. 

"No, I've, uh, kinda got a secret admirer, and I, uh, think their part of the team, and I wanted your help by looking at the security tapes of the front gate to see who leaves after me to narrow down the field of potential subjects." Sonnett explained, not meeting his eyes while she spoke. 

"Nope, no can do. Sorry Sonnett. I'm a firm believer in not spoiling the secret of a secret admirer."

"Come on Matt, the name of my first born is at stake here!" She pleaded.

"Kelley?" He guessed.

"Kelley." She confirmed.

"She's been after the same thing with Christen and Tobin for years, she seems to be trying to get an entire generation of kids named after her." 

"An army of Kelley O'Hara's" The both shivered simultaneously at the thought. 

"Okay, I'll help you just this once," 

"Thank you so much Matt!" She interrupted. 

"But you have to get my niece an Orlando Pride jersey with your new number on it." He bargained.

"Done! Now let's go look at those tapes. Oooo I feel like I'm on a cop show! This is so exciting." Sonnett squealed at she followed Matt to the security office, which turned out to be a glorified broom closet with a desk and computer. 

"This is your office?" Sonnett questioned looking at the 

"Yup, all fifty square feet of it." Matt said as he somehow made it into the chair behind the small desk. Sonnett stood next to him watching as he pulled up the recording for the front gate for last night. 

"Okay, tell me to stop when you see your car." He said as he set the recording to fast forward. 

"There!" Sonnett exclaimed as she watched the back of her car exit the parking lot and Matt slowed the video down so she could see the cars better. She made a list of all the cars she knew with Matt filling in the blanks of most of the employee’s cars. 

"So, we can scratch Tobin, Christen, Kling, obviously, I don't think it's anyone from the coaching staff or the other staff. So that leaves Bailey and Lindsey, and we can definitely scratch Lindsey." 

"Bailey wasn't here Tuesday." 

"Maybe she had someone else put it in that day. There was that one game were she flirted with me." 

"Why are you in such a rush to say it wasn't Lindsey?" Matt questioned. 

"She's my best friend, and straight." Sonnett said like it was the most obvious thing int he world. 

"The army begins." He mumbled under his breath as he turned back towards his computer.

"What?" Sonnett questioned.

"I didn't say anything." Matt said feigning innocence. 

"Okay, I should get back to the lockers training is about to start." Sonnett said as she checked the time on her phone. 

"Thanks Matt!" She called back as she left his tiny office. 

"Have fun with Kelley Junior." He said quietly to himself shaking his head at the oblivious defender. 

Sonnett made her way back to the locker room to find most of her teammates just starting to arrive. 

"Hey Son! You're on time for once." Kling called out as she spotted the younger defender. 

"How's it going on the secret admirer front." She ask quietly as she got closer to the blonde.

"I think I know who it is." Sonnett said quietly in a hushed voice and Kling just looked at her with a proud smile. 

"I'm glad you finally figured it out. So what are you going to do now?" 

"Well we'll see what tomorrow's card is and if Bailey asks me out then, we'll see how it goes." Kling gives her a confused look.

"Bailey?" She questions.

"Yeah, Bailey the medical girl. I asked Matt to look at the security tapes from last night, because I figured out that she's leaving them after I leave, and she was the only reasonable option that could be leaving them. Unless," Sonnett paused and looked her up and down and gave the older defender a questioning look, "you and your girl split within the last 5 days." 

Kling just shook her head sadly at the other defender and went to go get changed for practice. She watched the older defender walk away with a confused look on her face, unsure of what made her upset. 

"Hey Son, you're here early." She heard a soft familiar voice say from behind her. 

"Hey Linds," She said as she gave the midfielder a small smile, "yeah I've got a bet with Kelley and I think I'm going to finally win one."

"Oh yeah?" Lindsey questioned as she tried to suppress a smile. "A bet about what?"

"You haven't heard about it yet?"

"Rumors but nothing definitive." Sonnett could feel her own smile growing as she watched one break through on Lindsey's face. 

"Well," Sonnett started as she leaned closer to her friend and lowered her voice, "I've got a secret admirer." 

"Oh, do tell." Lindsey pressed mimicking Sonnett's posture and whisper. 

"Well, I've been getting these really cute and sweet notes in my locker all week and I made a bet with Kelley that I could figure out who it is before Valentine’s day, and I think I've done it."

"And?" Lindsey voice was barely audible even to Sonnett.

"I think it's Bailey from medical." 

"What!" Lindsey exclaimed loudly startling Sonnett, almost knocking her off balance. 

"I-," Lindsey started, "I just can't." She finished saying before going over to her locker and grabbing her bag out of it before storming out pushing past Christen and Tobin, leaving Sonnett dumbstruck in her wake.

“What just happened?” Sonnett asked looking around the room at all her teammates, whose eyes she couldn’t seen to meet. 

“You being an idiot, is what happened.” Christen was the only one who spoke up, as she leaned down to pick up a white envelope off the ground in front of Lindsey’s locker. Sonnett’s eyes went wide at the sight of the card, all of them were at her apartment and the one she’d gotten today was in her locker. 

“Oh fuck,” She said softly as she accepted the card from Christen. “I’m an actual moron!” 

“Jesus Christ, was anyone going to tell me my head was so far up my ass that I couldn’t even smell my own shit!” 

“Hey!” Tobin exclaimed at the extreme use of fowl language. 

“We thought you would figure it out on your own. We didn't want to force you guys into something that you weren’t ready for.” Kling said meekly. 

“So you guys are telling me the girl I’ve been in love with since pretty much the moment I met her, that I was so sure was as straight as they get has been the one that has been writing me these adorable love notes all week, and I’m just standing here ranting to you guys when I should be fucking sprinting so hard it makes Christen looks slow.” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Tobin earned a hard slap on the arm from her girlfriend 

“So, wait just to be clear, Lindsey’s in love with me?” 

“YES!” The entire locker room yelled at the same time. 

“Okay, cool, so I’m just gonna, go get the love of my life now.” Sonnett said as she slowly backed out of the locker room, still clutching the card in her hand for dear  
life. 

“Emily Ann Sonnett, go!” Christen yelled throwing a near by cleat at her. Sonnett yelped and ducked out room before it could hit her. 

“Was I ever that bad?” Tobin asked the now silent room of soccer players, looking at the doorway where Sonnett just was.

“YES!” They all said at the same time again, even Christen. 

Sonnett ran like a madman to the parking lot, shooting past teammates and staff that were still shuffling in. 

“Wow there Sonnett, breathe.” Ad said as she caught the defender before she stumbled over a warped piece of concrete. 

“What’s up?” the goalie asked once the blonde was stable on her own two feet. 

“Did you see Lindsey?” Sonnett felt and sounded like she was talking a million miles an hour.

“Lindsey? Yeah, she was getting into her car. Why? What’s happening?” 

“I’m in love with her.” 

“Yeah, and?” The goalie said it like it was most obvious thing she had ever heard.

“And she loves me too and I think I just broke her heart because I had no idea, now I have to get to her to fix this.” Sonnett’s head was buzzing with emotions and her heart felt like it was either about to jump out of her chest or explode or both. 

“I’m pretty sure you’re having and anxiety attack right now, so we’re going to go to my car and I’m going to drive you to Lindsey’s house because you are in no shape to do anything right now.” Ad put a hand on Sonnett’s upper chest and one on the back of her neck, forcing the defender to look at her while she spoke. 

“Thank you.” She managed to choke out after a minuet of trying to regain control of her breathing. 

“Okay, let’s get you to my car. You’ve got a girl’s heart to win you little ball of anxiety.” Ad said as she moved so one of her arms was wrapped around the blonde’s shoulders and her other hand on the bicep of the arm closest to her body, helping hold her up which Sonnett desperately needed right now. 

“Shut up.” Sonnett said as she shifted her weight slightly, not enough to throw them off balance but enough that they had to take a sidestep to remain up right. About halfway there Sonnett was able to shakily walk on her own, but Ad never let go of her arm just in case. 

“How are you so good at this stuff?” Sonnett asked as Ad helped her get into the passenger seat of her car. 

“Emily used to get really bad panic attacks; she still gets them every once in a while, so I kind of had to get good at recognizing and handling them.” Sonnett could see the love in Ad’s eyes as she spoke about her new wife and her heart longed for that. 

“So, where do you think she went?” The goalie asked as she slid into the driver’s seat. 

“Willamette Park.” Sonnett said immediately. 

“She likes to go there and look at the river when she’s stressed.” Sonnett had found here there too many times when Lindsey had first joined the team. “She had a similar place when she lived in Paris. She always said that she could just absorb the calmness of the water even days when the water was rough and choppy.”

“You’re going to get the girl. Just look at her with that look in your eyes and she’ll know how you feel even if you become a big ball of anxiety again.” 

"That's part of my charm, being a big ball of anxiety. Now come on I've got a girl to confess my love to! Chop chop!" Sonnet pestered as Ad started the car.

"You know I could just leave you here." Ad said giving Sonnett a sideways glare, as she rested her hand on the gear stick.

"You're too much of a sucker for romance stories to not." 

"That was one time." Ad said as she put the car in reverse and carefully back out of the parking spot. 

"It was three time."

"Okay! Hallmark movies get me every time." Ad threw up a hand in defeat as she stopped at the exit.

"They all have the same plot!" 

"So!" 

"I thought goalies were supposed to be hard asses." 

"I'll let you in on a secret, on the field we are but off we're just a bunch of softies." 

"Even Ash?" Sonnett questioned, the goalie had never given up this much information on her fellow goalies even when drunk.

"Especially Ash, you watched her wedding video's she never had a dry eye throughout the entire thing." 

"Even Alyssa!"

"Kid's and crossword puzzles make her melt more than the wicked witch of the west."

They joked and laughed all the way to the lake side park, they spotted Lindsey's car as they pulled into the nearly empty parking lot.

"Thanks again for this Ad." Sonnett could see the faint out line of a person leaning against the railing and the occasional glint of blonde hair. 

"No problem, just once you get her, don't let her go." 

"Never." The defender swore as she got out of the car and made her way towards Lindsey.

Sonnett could swear that her legs felt like they had cinder blocks strapped to them as she approached the midfielder. She stopped ten feet away from her, unable to will her legs to move anymore. 

"I didn't know." She called out and she could see the slight flinch as her words startled the taller blonde, but she didn't turn to face her. 

"I didn't think that there was even a remote possibility that you could love me back, and I was okay with that. I just wanted you in my life, if it was only as my best friend then great. I wasn't going to push my feelings on to you when all you had were eyes for him, that wasn't fair to you. I build a wall around my feelings for you that was so high I couldn't see what was right in front of my face, you, and I'm sorry for that I couldn't see it before now, but I won't apologize for keeping them to myself." Sonnett could feel the cold breeze bite against the tear streaks that she didn't even realize were forming on her face. 

"I don't know what you're apologizing for." Lindsey's voice was shaky, Sonnett wasn't sure if it was from the cold February air or from tears she knew were running down the midfielders face. "I'm the ones that need's to apologize." Lindsey continued finally turning towards the defender. 

"I'm the one that was blind. I stayed with him because he was safe and familiar, not because I loved him. He wasn't the one that pulled me out of the dark, he was the one that kept me in it. You were the light at the end of the tunnel but I was so used to the dark I didn't even remember what the light looked like. You were there with you terrible joke, dragging me into those god awful dance routines, with morning avocado toast, and that ridiculously adorable smile. Tobin told me to find my truth, and I think I did. I love you Emily Sonnett. " Sonnett wasn't even sure when Lindsey started to move towards her but now she was standing right in front of her. 

"I-" Sonnett stuttered at the intensity in her eyes and her skin flushed the deepest red she's ever felt. 

"She also told me you blushed like crazy when you read my notes." Lindsey said as she lifted a hand to her cheek and lightly brushed a thumb over her flushed skin. "I'm glad I got to see it for myself." 

"I-" She stuttered again and Ad's words came to her mind and she tried to put all her emotions into her face, and Lindsey chuckled wrapping her arms around the shorter blonde.

"No, no, I'm not laughing at you." Lindsey clarified at the flash of hurt that flickered across Sonnett's face. "Russell told me that you looked at me like I hung the stars in the sky, and I see it now. I don't know how I couldn't before, but I do now."

"Quit talking and kiss already!" They heard Ad yell from her car. "We still have practice to go to." They laughed at their friend together. 

"I love you too." Sonnett said, her voice barely above a whisper.

She felt Lindsey lean in and there was a quick brush of lips that had Sonnett reaching up for more and never wanting to come down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a lot of fun to write, hope you enjoy it!  
> P.s. How the fuck do you write kissing scenes  
> P.s.s. I'll edit this later  
> P.s.s.s. Lindsey pov chapter 3 anyone? Yay nay?  
> -Your moderately friendly neighborhood T

**Author's Note:**

> So... this started as a valentines day fic that fucking spiraled and turned into two chapters  
> that CP interrogating lindsey is how my friend got through my thicc skull that i was gay  
> thanks for reading my mess  
> -T
> 
> I'll go through and proof read this later


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